Pacing around the room in contemplative expression is the young mistress herself, conflicted from the private conversation she had earlier with Garnet, a pixie that is too sympathetic for her own good, and seeing how she interacted with these guests, she is convinced to at least try to get to know them instead of being locked in her own little world.
She doesn't understand the world Alucard sees; the outside is a merciless and cruel place that was responsible for bringing herself into this unfair life that she had to suffer all these years. It would be better to simply forget her problems and live in blissful ignorance, but the pain will come back again just to haunt her at every moment.
"Why do humans have to exist?" Her scowling face says otherwise, knowing full well that the world is filled with humans—nothing but humans—and the only reason for her to even exist is because of them. She has been hunted and shunned for what she has become—an abomination that should be feared by the eyes of god.
It was a truly pathetic and unforgivable act of mankind to turn her into this inhumane state. Not only that, but the madmen that made her this way are no better than the predators that hunted her kind, which is why she despises them to the core of her being, and the mere sight of them is enough to make her puke out in disgust. She wanted to kill them with her bare hands but stopped herself from doing so.
But here she is, reasoning her own sanity into allowing mere guests, especially men, to live in her own sanctuary. The only true place she can call home without any worries and an objective to finish her own business is "what a mess..." A growl came out of her throat, not liking this predicament.
Sitting on the couch near the fireplace as the warm light illuminates her mind and soul, having laid down with arms on the back of the couch while staring at the ceiling, pondering about what is going to happen next. The moment she placed her eyes on these guests, it was a learning experience. She felt surprised by how she couldn't help but enjoy their conversation and felt rather pleasant around them.
For so many years of living in her comfort zone, the person she has interacted with is her servant and best friend, Garnet, the annoying pixie, but only now is she beginning to question her own actions. Was it really right to allow them in here? Does she really have the right to trust them, or is she just keeping them at bay until the moment one of them finds out who she truly is?
Being a vampire is considered an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God and society as a whole, seeing that vampires are nothing but the embodiment of evil and vile creatures that would give them nightmares and have no place in this world. Every human believes all of them should be wiped out for good.
And yet, Alucard hasn't done anything but want to be left alone and prevent other humans from knowing what or where she is; having them find out will only bring misfortune in her way, and it is something she doesn't want to happen again; it was too painful to even think about when her family was wiped out.
"Family," repeating the word that Garnet spoke prior to their conversation, the pixie has no understanding of what it means or how people call themselves like that, seeing that her best friend likely never experienced one in her life; however, at the same time, she considers Alucard to be her family; "she doesn't even know what a family is." She sighed with exhaustion in her voice, as she had enough of being the only one who had it worse in her life.
Even though this human, Adam, as he calls himself, was the only one talking on his daughter's behalf—or so Garnet said—his words rang in her ears, a deep message and warning to what he meant when he said that his daughter is different from the rest of humanity. Could it be that she is some kind of monster or a different creature in disguise?
Garnet told her about the weird aura emitting from his daughter, unable to find the proper words to describe Lilim's species, and even then, the pixie had only met this girl a mere couple of hours ago, having not seen what she is capable of doing. Yet, Alucard has a gut feeling that it won't be wise to leave them alone.
The girl is interesting, even as an immortal vampire that has lived for so long; she has never seen something so strange to the point of being intrigued by something other than her own, especially when she herself is feeling rather content around these people despite how dangerous they can be and what their attention is.
"They're likely in the kitchen, eating my food," she said, sighing once again. She had grown fond of the pixie and truly sees their bond as special and unique, but wanting her to speak with these guests and befriend them is something that Alucard doesn't want to do, moreover to a human at that, as she can't help but be cautious around them.
"They were the ones who killed my family, so why should I even try to talk to them?" Rolling her eyes, "ugh," just thinking about it makes her shiver. She has an unpleasant memory that still haunts her today, not wanting to see that again. She had been tormented by those men time and time again before they eventually hunted her down, leaving nothing but her family and servants behind to die in her stead.
Closing her eyes and laying her head on the couch's armrest, she asked, "Why do they even come here?" Not understanding why these people came to this castle or to her—having no desire to be around with them but nonetheless still seeing some use for them; it's a complicated feeling and confusing to feel this way.
An idea had popped into her mind: "perhaps..." speaking her thoughts to herself, "they are here to kill me," scoffing at the thought of someone trying to end her life, knowing full well that she is capable of defending herself in any situation, but then again, these people are strangers to her; why would they even come here to try and kill her?
A look of dread was seen on her face. "Is it because of who I am?" If they actually know what she is, then Alucard has to kill them right away, a waste of time and effort, but not having any other choice, "no." Shaking her head, knowing that's not possible as they are too weak to even harm her in the first place.
Yet, the more she thought about it, the more this feeling came back again: "But..." She couldn't, not until she got to the bottom of this by knowing their true intentions in living among them. The fear is still there, but she has to be brave and do what is right for her own survival. "Fine," she grunted in irritation, "I'll just continue to keep an eye on them."
As mentioned before, having so many worrying thoughts and distrust of humans or anyone else is only going to get her killed eventually, and what a good way to die as a coward. Standing up from the couch and straightening herself out before heading towards the door, she had made up her mind.
Now it's time to see what they are up to and where they are. But when she finally reached the door knob, something prevented her from doing so: "What?" The young mistress's face began to sweat, fear building up in her stomach, knowing that this feeling was one of a kind, as she had felt it before but not to this degree.
Is she nervous or shy?
A strange feeling was coming over her, and she was unable to explain it. She tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths, turning around to head to the window, and seeing a stormy night with lightning illuminating the sky, she said, "I'm...I'm..." Alucard couldn't form the words properly; she leant her back on the door before sliding down on the ground.
Mentally exhausted and stressed from the whole ordeal, I said, "I can't do it. I just couldn't." Truthfully, she rarely heads out of this room and only does so during emergencies such as food and whatnot, but now she is unwilling to even move from her spot, afraid of going out of her own room in this very place she calls home.
Crossing legs before wrapping around herself with her arms before expressing her dismay, "It's their fault," growling to herself. Not only did they bring people from the outside world, but they also brought her phobia of leaving the safety of her home. It's like bringing an infection into her home that she can't get rid of no matter what she does or how hard she tries.
Because these guests belong to the uncaring and freezing outside world, having them here just outside of her room is a fear for her; it's unnatural to even be in this state of mind, but that doesn't mean she has to be a coward. "Ugh!" A look of anger was seen on her face. Not only that, the pixie had suggested that she make friends with them, and yet she had a hard time even doing so because of her issues with people in general.
Either way, she has to get food, and Alucard can rely on her servant to do it for her, a comforting thought as she had done it countless times before but feeling rather lonely as she misses her best friend, the only real person in this entire world that she places her trust and love on. "Garnet," she said, speaking her name while closing her eyes, seeing her best friend in her mind.
"You are my best friend, the only person I truly trust in this world." Red liquid tears stream down from her face. "Why did you leave me?" Having been with her ever since she became a vampire and having been there to help her in hard times, she doesn't know what she will do without her by her side, and it hurts to think about it.
"I'm scared, Garnet," sadly confessing to the pixie, unable to handle this burden by herself, "I'm scared of being alone. Why is this happening?" Even though she had been living all alone for many centuries, she never once felt lonely, as Garnet was always there to talk with and hang around with her. It's a sad truth but also a painful one.
The stupid and annoying but friendly pixie that she can't help but love asks, "Why did you leave me?" Sadly speaking into the air, hearing her own soft cries, she never felt this way before. No one had been there to care about her, and even then, she doesn't want to feel this way again. "It hurts Garnet, she said, sniffing as she buried her face in her hands.
Can't she be strong enough to do this on her own? It's like her whole world is crumbling down just because of meeting new people. "They will age and die; they'll go away soon," said the confident mistress in her voice while trying to convince herself that what she is saying is true, and yet, there is a part of her that can't help but hope for something more than having them around.
As time passed, Alucard still didn't want to move from her spot, and just thinking about this only made her feel depressed. "I hate this," she said, feeling her body start to shake as tears were forming in her eyes. "I just want to be alone!" But yet, she doesn't want to be alone. She can't understand her own turmoil and feelings in this situation.
"All I have to do is just wait a bit longer, and everything will be back the way it is." It is all she can do now, waiting for Garnet to come back to her, and when her best friend comes back, the two of them will be happy together again, and these problems will simply disappear into thin air, not resurfacing until another problem arises.
