Loki followed Odin into a private room, in which sat Heimdall, Frig, Tyr, Freyr, Freja, Siff, and Skadi.
“Nope!” Loki said the moment he walked through the door, and he turned heel to exit, but Odin reached out an arm and closed the door. Loki went rigid and turned back to face them with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Loki.” Tyr raised a glass to him.
Loki giggled as his nerves prickled. “To what do I owe this displeasure?” His eyes darted back and forth between all of them.
“We wanted to talk,” Odin said, moving before him.
Loki forced a smile. “About?”
Siff moved forward in her chair, her golden hair cascading down her shoulders. “How are you?”
Loki cocked his head as if he didn’t quite hear her. “How- How am I? Is this a joke?”
Heimdall sneered into his mead horn. “You’re the trickster.”
Loki rolled his eyes and laughed. “Because it is unlike any of you to do something under false pretenses!”
“Nothing like what you have done,” Freya sniped.
“Really?” Loki stepped forward.
Odin said, “Now, Loki-”
“No. No. What about Fenrir? Hm? Tricking a young, proud, innocent puppy into a test of strength against the lot of you? Cheap.” He pointed at Tyr, the one-handed god. “And you! You were supposed to be his friend!”
Tyr said in vain, “That’s not what this is about.”
“Your children were all monsters,” Frigg egged on.
“Oh please! Like Baldr was so perfect!”
“He was,” she snarled.
“All ugly babes are beautiful in the eyes of their mother!”
Freyr joined in. “How dare you!”
Loki said, “Psht. I don’t need your opinion on beauty! The only thing you’ve ever loved is that damn boar of yours, which you’re welcome for by the way. The only reason you people have any of your famous toys is because of me! Me! And what did I get for it? My mouth sewn shut!”
Heimdall let out a snort of laughter. “You’re lucky you didn’t lose your head.”
Loki glared at him, and Siff said meekly, “You cut off all my hair. I was bald.”
Loki gave her a sympathetic shrug. “I was drunk. And because, well, Thor- He... and then you and I- We...” He chewed on his lower lip and pivoted. “But, that golden flowing wig is now iconic.”
She nodded happily and ran her hand over her braid.
“Loki, none of that is due to you.” Freyr said, “All of that credit goes to the dwarves.”
Odin sat in a corner watching, amused, while Skadi was pinching the bridge of her nose, awaiting the end to the bickering.
Loki said, “They wouldn’t have made any of it if it wasn’t for me! Mjolnir wouldn’t be Mjolnir if not for me buzzing ’round that smelly creature’s face!”
“You did that to sabotage him!” said Frigg.
Loki shrugged. “Be grateful for small mercies. That’s all I have to say.”
A rather large mercy came pushing through the door. A large, muscular man with blond hair and a handsome grin. Loki had to step out of the way of the opening door, and his eyes landed on Thor. “Oh no.” Loki grimaced.
“Loki!” Thor grinned and embraced Loki in a bear-hug that pinned his arms down to his sides and lifted him off the ground. He slammed Loki down to the floor and rattled him by his shoulders. The massive god moved into the center of the room and asked, “What did I miss?”
“Nothing!” Tyr blurted out. “We have been quietly waiting for you.”
Thor bellowed a laugh. “Quiet? No. Not Loki! Well, that is unless someone sewed his mouth shut again.”
The lot of them laughed. Loki mirthlessly laughed with them. “So funny...”
“Well, then. I’ll start.” Thor beamed back at Loki who immediately wiped the snarl from his face.
Odin and Frigg exchanged humored glances.
“Now, Loki.” With an air of authority, as the other gods of the Aesir and Vanir quieted, Thor said, “We’ve heard tales of you and Eros.”
“Oh, good Lord.” Loki slumped, exasperated. “What- What is this? Are you going to drag Sigyn in here and attempt an intervention?”
Thor looked confused while his fellows restrained their laughter. “No!” he said. “No, well, I can’t speak for anyone else. But, I’m not shocked at this... life choice of yours.”
“No?”
“No,” Thor scoffed. “I mean... I think we all knew...” His eyes glanced around at the others. “I mean... the horse, Loki.”
After that, no one could hold back their laughter. Thor enjoyed his audience’s participation. He nodded and put his hands on his belt, which held his ever-at-his-side Mjolnir, hidden not-so-inconspicuously by his suit jacket. He was the only one not dressed in hunting gear aside from Loki. “We knew,” Thor said with a smug grin.
Loki smiled with a mouth full of sharp teeth and tried to calm himself, that is until Heimdall said, “But, for the record... who wears the pants?”
“Excuse me?” Loki snarled.
“I mean,” Heimdall taunted, “...who pitches? It’s you, isn’t it?”
Siff sent him a pleading look. “Stop it!”
Loki’s eye twitched. “For the record... that record is none of your business, Heimdall, but just to paint you a picture I hope haunts your waking dreams... I. Suck. His. Cock.” Loki flashed a wicked grin. “Merrily!”
“Alright.” Odin finally stood. “Enough. Enough.”
Loki’s teeth were clenched as the groans and unpleasant noises filled the private room. He readjusted his suit jacket, and Thor was laughing like this was all in good fun.
Odin said, “Loki. What we are here to discuss- Is it true what you and Eros did to the Norns, the Fates?”
Loki, who was rolling his eyes and trying to shake off the fuming rage said, “Well, I don’t know what you’ve heard, or whom you heard it from, but we only cast them out. They will return... with reinforcements. Eros did most of the work. I was unconscious in the dust.” He got another audible scoff from the group, which was as Loki intended. ”Why?”
“I can see you’re fed up,” Odin said.
Loki snarled. “You have no idea.”
“So, I’ll make this short.” Odin addressed the group now more than Loki. “We want to join in your battle against the Norns, the Fates, to make sure they do not return.”
Loki blinked, his arms folded across his chest. “What?”
“You, yourself, have pointed out many times over the last few centuries- Our problem was seldom you. Our problem was usually us trying to outwit the prophesies handed down to us by the Norns, the Fates.”
Freyja grew stiff and scowled.
“In trying to subvert our fortunes, we created them just as they were foretold to happen. You were a symptom of that. Not the cause.”
“No. I was a victim of that.”
Odin nodded. “Fair enough. But, we would like to be included in this war, and maybe we could actually accomplish what we have been trying to do for most of our existence. Stop Ragnarok.”
Loki growled and pleaded, “Agh! But, that’s what you don’t get. There is no Ragnarok! Ragnarok is a device they use to string you along! They’ve only been promising the end of times since the beginning of time! It’s fear mongering, and that is all.”
“I believe you,” Odin said in earnest.
“You do?” Loki was surprised.
“Yes, at least about the Norns stringing us along to meet their own ends. Loki, can you, can all of us, put aside our differences and fight alongside each other once more? Blood-brother?” Odin stuck his arm out to Loki.
Loki blinked at it in disbelief, and before he could shake it, Thor grappled him into an exuberant hug. Loki didn’t take his eyes off Odin’s hand until a moment or two after Thor set him back on his feet. “I, uh...” He pointed at Odin’s hand.
Odin looked back and forth between his hand and Loki.
“Uh,” Loki swallowed, “I have to talk to a couple of people before I commit to that bargain.”
Odin gave a long disappointed sigh, lowering his hand.
Loki was still pointing at the spot where Odin’s hand had been. “But, I am interested. I just have to confer... with my colleagues.” He began to back away toward the door. “Let me find them, and I’ll have my people call your people. Okay? Ciao!” Loki slinked from the room like a frightened cat. He slipped through the halls of the venue like a very bad thief, constantly looking over his shoulder and keeping close to the walls. He turned around a corner and nearly bumped right into Eros. He let out a startled yelp. Recognizing there was nothing to fear in the wide-eyed look his boyfriend was giving him, he slumped and caught his breath.
Eros asked, startled. “Are you alright?” His voice was filled with more concern than was necessary.
“No,” Loki said matter-of-factly. “I’m not alright. I was abducted by my family. Where- Where is Thanatos? I need him... and a drink.”
Eros materialized a glass of scotch, which Loki slammed back like a cheap shot, and the glass disappeared. “Uh, actually, Thanatos sent me to find you. He left.” Eros said, flinching, worried what Loki’s oncoming reaction would be.
Loki blinked. “He what?”
“He wants you to hold down the fort in his absence.” Eros was still flinching.
Loki’s voice rose with panic, “He what?"
Eros gestured, trying to remember what Thanatos had said. “Something to do with Damien.”
“He left!”
“Yeah.”
Loki threw his head back and ran his hands over his face.
Eros continued, “And I’m afraid I’m going to do the same. I just-”
Loki hunched to Eros’s eye level and clasped his shoulders in desperation. “You can’t leave me! I need you!”
“Oh. Okay. My apologies. I didn’t-”
“That doesn’t matter. Listen. Listen.” Loki took in one big breath, “My family trapped me in a room, and we had a long discussion about why we hated each other. Then, they asked me about you, and I told them.” He stopped. Then blurted, “I told them we have oral sex.”
"What? Why would you-”
“It just came out. You know how I can get. Don’t look at me like that. Listen, they heard about you and me and the Fates, and they want to join. Not our relationship, obviously. That would be deeply unsettling, but join our war against the Fates. And Thanatos is gone, and I don’t know what to say, or if I should trust them, and how am I supposed to host this party? Do I look like I’m in any shape to do such a thing?” He took a breath.
“Are you done?”
“Yes.”
“Great. You can do this. Go mingle and smile and chit-chat. Just be your stupid charming self, and you’ll be fine. Then, when your family leaves, tell them congratulations on the Wild Hunt, and you’ll reach out to them with a decision as soon as you can. Easy.”
“Easy.”
“Easy,” Eros repeated.
